I know Steve is really talented with his shield and is like an expert with it
but just imagine him smacking it in his face
or tripping over it
or waking up in the middle of the night and he shuffles off to the bathroom only to step on the edge of the shield and it smacks him in the shin and he curses loudly enough to wake up the other Howling Commandos who just sit up and start laughing at the way Steve is holding onto his leg and swearing
Seriously, though, super-soldier or not, watching Steve learn to use his shield must’ve been A+ comedy!
Steve throws it at some HYDRA goons but misses them by a mile and it bounces off a wall and flies out through a window, and Steve is just standing there, whoops, while Bucky rolls his eyes, takes out the enemies with his rifle, and jogs back outside to fetch the shield.
Steve hasn’t learnt the ctrl+c to crouch move yet; he holds the shield in front of his face and a HYDRA sniper shoots him in the thigh. Bucky facepalms because Steve you idiot, the shield only protects the bits of you actually behind it. Eventually, Steve masters the art of hiding his entire body behind the shield, tortoise-style, by ducking and having Bucky chuck pebbles at whatever parts of him are sticking out - of course Bucky has a wicked good aim and an even more wicked sense of humour, and Steve ends up with some rather embarrassing bruises.
The Commandos are on a stealth mission to infiltrate a secret HYDRA base, except the shield slips, falls, and does that rolling-metal-lid-dropped-on-the-ground sound like clang!!-grooiinnng-rooiinng-ooiinnnng-rnnnng-rrnng-rrnng-rrnng until Steve puts his foot on it. Everyone stops and just stares at him.
Also, my personal headcanon is that Steve once bet the shield in a hand of poker and Bucky won it. So it’s actually been Bucky’s shield since October 1944, Steve’s just borrowing it.
Every teenager has tried to fit their fat ass on a baby swing
Peter Quill after discovering the Internet. (via patrickat)
"Why would he do it for another vine? He has many vines."
- Drax, upon hearing this conversation
I love the thought of “In The Flesh” soulmate AUs because Simon would have “Excuse me, you’re sitting on my grave” on his arm and would spend his whole (first) life just going “wtf, my soulmate is a lunatic”
bucky says you can’t die if you’re wearing the wrong dog tags (“it’s just not allowed”), and it’s part-joke, part-superstition, part-something else he can’t name
they start trading dog tags before missions as a silent promise to each other that they’ll both make it back in one piece, and eventually, they just stop trading back. something about carrying bucky’s name against his skin makes steve feel safer, braver
when bucky falls he takes steve’s name with him into the abyss instead of his own
steve still has bucky’s name around his neck when they pull him out of the ice
#(see? bucky says—years later; after the ice. after the torture. after the ruin and the war.) #(what did i tell you kid. my name around your neck—i’m not gonna let you die.) #(yeah? steve asks. his palm pressed over the place where bucky’s heart is beating.) #(and what about my name around yours?) #(bucky considers. touches the metal; metal fingertips.) #(your name? he says. slowly.) #(your name will bring me back from the dead.) (from srgebarnes)
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog
Fudge recipe on a headstone
I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.
I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”
That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.